here comes santa claus...

well, i braved the cold and the crowds today to take the kids to see santa.....and i was so glad i did.  they also had a little train that mac got to ride, which she absolutely loved!!

happy sunday!

precious moments....

cory took this picture before he left for work this morning....layton and i had moved to the couch because cory was snoring and i guess mac decided to join us. i didn't know she was holding is hand. how cute is that??

have a great weekend!

so true...

my friend, gretchen, sent this to me! she is also a stay-at-home mom. i want to meet this woman~actually both of them. i'd like to shake the writer's hand and share a glass of wine. i'd like to take the woman who wrote it and kick her ass.

enjoy!

getting back to normal...

things are slowly getting back to normal around here...well, normal for this house anyway! layton is acting like a normal newborn. he eats, sleeps and poops. you'd never know he had heart surgery two weeks ago. i found this picture on cory's phone...i think he took it last night. so cute!

our sweet baby....

we brought layton home on tuesday...he was two weeks old.  he is doing very well. his big sister, mackenzie, can't get enough of him!  we are so happy to have him home and healthy.

we could never thank you enough for all your prayers and support. we are truly blessed!

in other brewer news....

this is the kind of thing that happens in my front yard when i'm not there...yes, that is a deer's head that my precious princess is holding on to...

i expect to hear from the homeowner's association and/or PETA any day now.......

the light at the end of the tunnel...

big sister holds layton for the first time!
i like to be wrapped up like a burrito!
i'm in a big bed, now!
little brother, meet big brother!
this was him, staring up at his big brother!

we are finally seeing it! layton was moved to the imcu~which is the intermediate care unit~today. he's lost all his tubes and wires except the ones monitoring his blood pressure, pulse ox, and respiration. he is looking so good and the surgeon told cory today that he will probably go home in a few days! i just finished feeding and burping him....two things that a mother takes for granted after awhile...but for me, it was heaven! he is starting to really act like a newborn baby...wants to be held a particular way and let's you know his disapproval otherwise. but even his crying sounds wonderful to me! i can't wait to take him home!!!! 

i've posted a few pictures for you...thanks again for all your support!

update...

they removed layton's chest tube and breathing tube today. they also took the iv out of his head. he looked so relieved to have those taken out. he was awake for over an hour and was very alert. i'm sure it helped to see our faces and hear our voices. his color looks great. he still has some fluid on the lungs but they said that is normal. overall, he is recovering very well. when we left him earlier, he was sleeping and looked so peaceful. i took this picture shortly after the breathing tube was removed.

getting stronger...

layton came through surgery like a champ...he is recovering in the pediatric intensive care unit. he is on a ventilator but is breathing on his own, too. the breathing machine is helping to keep fluid off of his lungs. they are giving him morphine and he is resting very comfortably.

i can't tell you how difficult it is to see your precious little baby hooked up to all those machines.  everytime he opens his eyes, i just want to grab him and run. and while i thought it would get easier leaving him there, it's just getting harder. i can not wait to bring him home. the surgeon told us that he would probably be there a week but if things went well, maybe 4 or 5 days.

thank you again for all your prayers and for all the offers to keep mackenzie. my mother and mother-in-law are here and have been WONDERFUL...they are doing everything from cooking to laundry to looking after mackenzie...which is a full time job!

we will keep you posted on his recovery.

happy thanksgiving!

it's over...

layton came out of surgery and is doing great...we are still waiting to go back and see him.  we can't thank everyone enough for your thoughts and prayers. it's great to know we have such wonderful friends and family to get us through this.

i'll post some pictures as soon as i can get back to take some!

update on surgery....

we just heard from the nurse and layton's surgery went well and they are closing him up...more details to come as we get them. we are waiting for them to finish and the doctor to come out and talk to us.

keep the prayers coming....i know they are helping!

day before surgery...

layton is still doing very well...is loving that they are giving him more to eat! they have decided to leave him in the nicu and will take him to surgery in the morning from there. i got to feed him his bottle again today and cory and i both held him. we are cherishing every second we get with him...we are very anxious and nervous about surgery tomorrow. just ready for it to be over.

another good day and more pics.....

we went to see baby layton today...he had a great night and was very happy that they doubled his milk intake! i got to hold him again which was wonderful and gave him a bottle. we toured the pediatric icu and talked to a nurse who explained to us what we can expect on the day of surgery and the days to follow. we learned all about the chest tube and breathing tube. she prepared us for what he'll look like after the surgery....he'll more than likely be puffy/swollen, eyes may be swollen shut and he will be restrained so he doesn't pull out anything. he will be given morphine and will not be in any pain at all. they will let him wake up on his own because the more rest he gets, the better.

it was a lot of information to receive in one day and i had to go have a glass of wine as soon as we left the hospital. as wednesday gets closer, the reality of it all is hitting hard. i'll be glad when it is over and we have a healthy baby boy that we can bring home!

please keep us in your prayers....we really appreciate it.

update and picture...

layton is doing extremely well...the people at the hospital are wonderful! he is definitely in great hands...he finally got to eat and cory was there to give him the first bottle. they are giving him very small amounts and he's eating it up in a matter of seconds! i got to feed him yesterday and it was wonderful...i've also been able to hold him everytime i've been up to see him which is the best medicine. the nurses all say he is super strong and super cute! i'm not prejudice, but i'd have to agree!

surgery is still set for wednesday at 9 am. they will be moving him from the neonatal icu to the pediatric icu tomorrow and he will return there after surgery. we are hoping and praying for a successful surgery and recovery...i want to bring my baby home!

cory just talked to the nurse who said layton was doing wonderful and they are going to give him more milk today, which i'm sure will make him happy!!

thanks again for your prayers and support...

update...

i feel like this is the easiest way to keep everyone informed on what's going on with our new addition, layton. some of you know that he was diagnosed with a heart condition before he was born. we were fully aware of this and knew he would more than likely have to have surgery within days of being born. he was transferred to dell's children medical center today from north austin medical. he will be having surgery on wednesday about 9 a.m. we met with the surgeon today and feel very confident that he is in excellent hands and receiving the best care.

it has been very, very hard. i've only held my baby for a very short time after he was born. he spent the rest of the time in the nicu and, of course, remained there after i was discharged. poor cory hasn't held him at all. i can't explain how difficult it is to watch a dozen strangers hold your baby before you get a chance. 

we are trying to remain positive...this surgery has about a 95% success rate so the odds are definitely in our favor.

we thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers....we need all of them right now!

for those of you interested, layton has a coarctation of the aorta. you can find quite a few things about it on the internet.

again, thank you for your concern and well wishes. it is going to be a rough couple of weeks. we are looking forward to getting him well and home with us! despite it all, he is doing very well, looks great! in fact, you wouldn't even know that anything is wrong with him by looking at him...his color is great and most of the time, he is resting very peacefully. that makes it easier on me.

i will keep you posted on his progress.

love to all!

james layton brewer

james layton brewer

november 18,  2008

7 lbs. 8 oz.

19 3/4"

a few new pics..

the top two are mackenzie at her friend tyler's bday party at the dude ranch....love the one with her and her papa!

the bottom two are halloween~one from that night out trick-or-treating and the other at her parade at school.

burps, farts, and making mums

i'm sure many of you have been wondering where i've been...maybe i had the baby and have been soooo busy i haven't had time to blog. no. such. luck. i am still pregnant and it feels like i've been pregnant for 15 months. my belly is HUGE. i'm scheduled to be induced two weeks from today. and that is not a moment too soon...i'm slowly but surely losing my dignity with this pregnancy. i find myself belching, like a MAN, all the time...my fifteen year old son heard me the other day, looked at me with this look of total horror on his face. he didn't have to say anything...i could tell what he was thinking...i can't believe that just came out of my mother. i've even had the "walking" farts a few times...don't you try and act like you don't know what i'm talking about! you know what they are....i sound like a motor boat...it's ridiculous.

in other news, blake had his first homecoming dance this year...he looked so handsome. and i'm no fifteen year old boy, but his girlfriend is pretty hot. i wanted to give him a high-five and say "score!" but i thought that was a bit much from his MOM.  i did encounter some stress during homecoming week. blake is usually on the sidelines on friday nights for the varsity game, so i assumed the homecoming game would be no different. he informed me on wednesday evening that he would NOT be on the sidelines and that him and logan (girlfriend) would be going to the game. ok. whatever. about that time, she shows up with his little mum thingy that goes on his arm. she also made mackenzie a little mum which i thought was very sweet. so, great. yea, homecoming...and then it hit me...oh. shit. she's going to need a mum. my brain went into overdrive. i don't know where to get a mum. i don't know how to make a mum. but how hard can it be, right? cory said, "why don't you get on the phone first thing tomorrow and find someone to make her a mum." 

me: "i wouldn't know where to start, plus it's probably a little late. i can make one. how hard can it be? other mom's do it...so can i."

cory said nothing but instead gave me a look like, you've got to be kidding. you SO can't make a mum. you do not have a crafty bone in your body. but i have to disagree. i'm no marthat stewart but i did make a diaper cake for a friend's shower a few months back that i thought turned out great. for those who saw it and don't agree...keep it to yourself. i'd like to hang on to my delusional thinking.

so the next day, with my assistant in tow, aka mackenzie, we headed to hobby lobby for all the mum-making supplies. they had it all in one area. perfect. so i start gathering ribbons, stickers, and any other accessories i thought didn't look too cheesy...and so did mackenzie. note to self: never take a toddler in a section of any store full of shiny, long, beads....they are like moths to a flame. anyhoo, i got what i needed, including a hot glue gun. see, that's how uncrafty i am...i didn't even own a hot glue gun. do now! so $100 later, we head home with all our supplies..all the while praying that i know what the hell i'm doing.

i put the mum together that afternoon and i have to say, i was impressed. for a first time effort, i thought it looked pretty damn good. i was excited for blake to see it. i don't know why. fifteen year old boys don't get excited about much...except for sports and porn. but all i wanted to hear from him was that he wasn't embarrased to give it to her. he said he wasn't. we were good to go.

fast forward to friday night when logan and friend get dropped off at our house before the game. they come in and i notice logan has something hanging from her rather large purse. what? is that? no, it couldn't be! surely, my pregnant eyes are deceiving me. IS THAT A MUM??? DID SHE BRING HER OWN MUM???????? really? this is happening right now? i stressed over making her a mum just to find out that the NEW thing is the girls make their OWN MUM!!!!  i guess blake felt bad for me so he pulled her to the side and explained that i had made her one so she took them both. i didn't want anything said to her because i did not want to embarrass her. 

but, know atleast i know if i need to pull a mum out of my ass, i can do it. yea, me.

the pictures above were taking before the dance...don't you love the one of blake and mac??? she is his #1 girl for sure!!

happy friday!!

creepy...

are you kidding??? you can barely tell them apart! this is tom cruise and katie holmes, in case you couldn't tell....

the dirty old redneck...

so my dad and i went to the dallas stars game on friday night. it was the opening home game of the season and i was super excited about going. i LOVE hockey. i prefer to watch it over football..probably because unlike most kids in texas, i grew up going to hockey games, not football games. as excited as i was, i knew what we were getting ourselves in to by going. here's my dad and here's me...8 months pregnant. we got more looks from people...i guess trying to figure out what's the deal. as we were walking in to the american airlines center, our conversation went a little like this...

dad: people are already staring...

me: well, we look so much alike, maybe they'll figure we are father and daughter..(wishful thinking on my part)

dad: oh, great. they'll think we are imbreaders.

me: uh, gross.

dad: just walk a few steps behind me..(he was joking, of course)

me: no, that's worse! then they'll think you MAKE me walk behing you as a sign of submission or something!

so we proceeded in and went to the stars club. of course, my dad got a beer while i drank my water. good times. so then i got to thinking, here he is in his cowboy boots, drinking, and they think he brought along his young, pregnant wife to be his designated driver. typical redneck. or typical dirty old redneck. i watched people's faces as we sat down. first they looked at me, then down at my huge belly and then immediately looked over at my dad with this look, like they were wanting to say, "how dare you." it was quite amusing. i guess we need to get t-shirts that say "i'm the daughter" and "i'm the father."

as long as his doesn't say "i'm the daddy" i think we'll be okay...there is a part during the game where they show different couples in the audience on the jumbo tron and they kiss for the camera. i was praying to god, buddha and whoever else was listening that they did not put us up there!

anyway, it was a GREAT game although we lost in over time.

we were supposed to go to the fair yesterday, but i talked myself out of it...as much as i wanted to stuff myself with all things fried, i just wasn't up for the walking.

the baby is measuring at 36 weeks...and i'm just now at 33. he already weighs 5 pounds 8 ounces. at this rate, if i go until november 21, he'll probably come out crawling. which would mean less pushing, right??

i was supposed to go back to austin today but have decided to stay another night here at my parent's...there is something i seem to get more of here than at home...REST.

a lady told me today that there is only 10 weeks until christmas...can you believe it??? hard to believe since it's still 90 degrees outside.

well, that's all i got for now..happy monday!

i love this...

my mom sent this to me and i've seen it before~may even have posted it on here~but it's so funny! enjoy!

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for
them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's
nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri. When I
retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with
her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half
an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her
time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.

I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable.
I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes
as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for
several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't
clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to
get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for
her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for
better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two
or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to
think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to
take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade
and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I'm not saying that
showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife
because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all, we are
put on this earth to help each other.

Signed, Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:
Jim died suddenly on September 7th. of a perforated rectum. The police report says Jim
was found with a Calloway nine iron golf club jammed up his rear end, with only 5 inches
of grip left showing.

His wife Terri was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10
minutes to find her "not guilty". Accepting her defense that Jim, somehow without looking,
accidentally sat down on his golf club.

random tidbits....

~ is it just me, or is ronald mcdonald the creepiest looking thing ever?? seriously. how did he ever appeal to young children? he creeps my ass out.

~my two year old recognizes oprah and barack obama and calls them by name. think are t.v. is on a little too much?? that was a rhetorical question...no need to answer.

~why does my husband keep clipping his toenails into the bathtub when the trash can is a just a few feet away??

~i watched a show last night about a couple who are about to have their 14th child and all i kept thinking is does she have to use duct tape to keep her uterus from falling out?

~i wonder if he didn't before, does o.j. believe in karma now???

~with all the advances in medicine, i wonder if they are close to impregnating a man? you think they got someone working on that one? if not, someone needs to get on that. i'd pay good money.

~why are there still directions on the back of shampoo bottles. i think we got it by now. and does anyone actually repeat?

~how long has sesame street been on the air?

~why is a man assertive and a woman a bitch? not that i care..i wear my bitch badge with pride.

~do you think it's okay to take a bottle of wine in your bag to the hospital? to have AFTER the baby is born, of course.

~i believe they should give you a catheter and epidural during your last month of pregnancy....simply for convenience reasons.

~why is it that the people that won't go out and vote will be the ones that do the most complaining about the results?? VOTE, PEOPLE!!! i mean, it's just our future we are talking about.  

~why can't i find time to take a good nap??

~i'm going to the state fair this weekend and plan on eating everything that is bad for me...which is everything at the fair. they have fried bacon, people. you might as well inject the lard directly into your veins.

that's all i got right now..happy tuesday!

quick note...

so clay aiken has annonced that he's gay...

geez, clay, thanks for clearing that up for us....the suspense was brutal.

who is he kidding??????

***NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT***

a funny for your tuesday...

my friend, danielle, sent this to me. thanks for the laugh, d!

 Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very 
 faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic 
 on the Bacardi Breezers.
 
 Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped 
 in the cemetery.  One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought 
 she would take off her panties and use them.  Her friend however was 
 wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin 
 them.
 
 She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath 
 with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.  After the 
 girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
 
 The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his 
 normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he 
 phoned the other husband and said: 'These girl nights out have got to 
 stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. .. my wife came home with no 
 panties!!'

 'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card 
 stuck to her ass that said.....
 'From all of us at the FireStation. We'll never forget you.''

i'm sooooo ready for a girl's night out!!! one where i can actually drink, that is!


      

funny...

my mom sent this to me...so true!

UCLA STUDY (VERY INTERESTING & SHORT) A study worth sharing with friends both male and female: A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.  However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with  duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected.

 

maxine....my new mentor

my dad sent this to me today....too good not to share!

Sometimes I think Maxine should run for president.  She was right on with this one...

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately: illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...  
 


Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation. 

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. 

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies. 

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border. 

Any other problems you would like for me to solve today ?  Yes! 

Think about this one: 

1. Cows 
2. The Constitution 
3. The Ten Commandments   



C O W S   

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in  Canada   almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.   

T H E    C O N S T I T U T I O N   

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for    Iraq   .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.   

T H E   1 0    C O M M A N D M E N T S   

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: 
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment. 

too funny!

my friend, marisa, sent this to me. it is so funny! thanks for the laugh, marisa!

enjoy!

i should not be trusted at drive-thrus....

so i made a stupid, stupid mistake today. we were in need of a few groceries...you know, milk, eggs, detergent and with all the coverage on the news about ike, i figured i better get to the store quick before all these things were gone. little dramatic, i know. anyway, mac and i didn't get dressed and out of here until almost 12:30...which is later than i usually get out to run errands. but we were off to heb, not realizing that all i had to eat was a bowl of cereal and two pop tarts. so basically all i had consumed was sugar, sugar and more sugar. apparently everyone is preparing for the hurricane and decided to use their lunch break to stock up on supplies. needless to say, it was much more crowded than it would have normally been that time of day. so while standing in the check out line, i started to feel weird...not pregnancy weird, but low blood sugar, feel like i'm going to pass out weird. i've passed out several times before so i know the symptoms...sweating, feeling weak, heart starts beating fast...so i hurried up and got to my car all the while wondering why in the hell at 7 months pregnant i don't let someone help me to the car with my groceries. i loaded up and then headed to the nearest drive-thru to get soemthing to eat and FAST. there happened to be a jack in the box right down the street. perfect. so i pulled in and fought the urge to run over the two cars in front of me in line. but decided against it....besides, jack in the box is the fastest drive thru, i believe. they really have their shit together. anyhoo, i place my order and that's when things got ugly. i ordered mac's kid's meal and proceeded to order myself enough food for 3 grown men and a midget. sorry. i mean little person. i ordered a number 5 combo...which is an ultimate cheeseburger, curly fries and a large ice tea, two tacos and an order of 3 egg rolls. holy shit. that's all i can say. i dove into that bag so fast you'd think i hadn't eaten in weeks. i won't even tell you how much of it i ate but i probably gained the whole 11 pounds that i should have gained during my ENTIRE third trimester. now, of course, i feel miserable and mackenzie doesn't seem to want to nap today. perfect. maybe my body is preparing for the hurricane. in case i'm confined to my house for several weeks and we run out of food, i'm good. i'm like an animal getting ready to hibernate. wait..do animals eat a bunch before they hibernate?? for the sake of my argument, i'm going to say yes, they do.

on another note, i'm really tired of hearing about sarah palin. they are acting like she's the only woman to ever raise 5 kids and work full time. there's something fishy about her...i can't put my finger on it yet but mark my word. personally, i don't trust anyone who goes back to work 3 days after having a baby. that's just not right...unless you are an indian woman, which according to my husband, are capable to anything. they would give birth, go out in the fields and work and then come back and breast feed the whole tribe. well, the babies anyway. and to that, i say, good for them. to my husband, i say, too bad you didn't marry an indian woman....

he seems to know an awful lot about them....maybe he's read books, or watched a documentary. not quite sure...maybe i should give myself an indian name and he'll look at me in a totally different light. i could call myself "walks with waddle" or maybe "sitting blob." anyone have any suggestions??

well, i've got to go pee. shocker.

happy thursday!

mac's first day of school

she did soooo great...just waltzed in there like she'd been doing it for years! the teacher said she did well except for when story time came around. apparently, playing with the dollhouse was much more appealing to her than listening to a story. but the teacher talked to her and then she was fine.

well, i'm officially 28 weeks along and officially absolutely miserable...i look at my expanding belly and wonder how in the world i've got 12 weeks to go. where is it going to go?? the weight, i mean. my stomach already looks like i'm about to give birth. my ass is slowly but surely losing it's battle with my underwear. i choose to believe that my underwear is shrinking rather than my ass is growing....it seems to work with my husband and his pants. he tries to convince me that his pants are shrinking...not that his waistline is expanding. i am seriously contemplating writing a book titled "pregnancy absolutely, 100% sucks....all the things they don't tell you." there might be one already out there...need to research that one. i can never get comfortable. and when by chance i do find myself somewhat in a comfortable state, then i have to get up and pee. i read the other day that you usually gain about 11 pounds in the third trimester and i feel like making it my life's mission to gain much more just for spite. out of spite for who or what, i have no clue. just because i can.

and as if i'm not busy enough around here, my darling husband decides to bring home another dog. we are know the proud owners~or he is the proud owner~of a black lab named tank. he, of course, is a hunting dog. i mean, he totally needs a dog for the one month out of the twelve he goes and hunts birds, right?? oh. and it gets EVEN better...apparently there was an incident with the golf cart and the dog~which i wasn't made aware of until the next day when it was obvious the dog was injured and needed medical attention IMMEDIATELY. and, of course, this was saturday and cory just absolutely could not leave work. so who was left to clean up this mess??? me and the boys~and mackenzie~had to load this dog up and take him to the emergency animal hospital where he spent two nights being watched over and having his bandage changed. i asked if they had room for me to bunk with him but it was a no go. i figured, no kids, no husband for two nights in a place full of animal tranquilizers might not be so bad. oh! and all of this was right in the middle of what should have been mackenzie's nap. hell of a saturday....

but it gets even better...he HAD to be picked up by 7 am monday morning and wouldn't you know, mackenzie woke up at 5 and didn't go back to sleep. so there we were..me, half awake, and her in her pj's and crocs, going to get the dog at 6 am. then, i had to rush home and get the boys and have them at football practice. where was cory, you ask?? sleeping. sleeping like a freakin' baby. i was silently cursing him and plotting my revenge the whole time. but the fun doesn't end there. i had to take him to our vet yesterday to have his bandage changed and found out that the people who sold him to cory, had not given him any vaccines since he was 9 weeks old. HE IS NOW 14 MONTHS OLD. so they basically treated him like he had never been vaccinated. so we were there much longer than we should have been. and we have to go back EVERY day this week to have the bandage changed. i had realized that morning after i picked him up that the emergency clinic had not given me his meds. they close at 7 am and do not reopen until 6:30 p.m. so i had to drive all the way back over there and pick them up yesterday evening. of course, when i got there, they had already put them back up and had to fill them again. seriously?? all this for a dog i didn't even want....

but don't you worry...somewhere there is a shiny, new gucci handbag with my name on it and it will be mine very, very soon....that i can promise you.

eye candy for august....

he's one of my favorites....dr. christian troy (aka julian mcmahon) from nip/tuck. double yummy...

happy friday!!

oh. you're welcome.

"doodie, daddy, doodie!"

so mackenzie and i were at the pool at lifetime fitness on saturday. everything is going great~or so i thought~when the lifeguards blew their whistles and instructed everyone to get out of the pool. they had just had a break so i was wondering what was up. i then heard a lifeguard tell a mom carrying a toddler, "thanks for letting us know." i then see another lifeguard enter the pool with the scoop. yup, someone had shit in the pool. and the first thing i'm thinking~more like rejoicing~is that it wasn't my kid! i may have the loudest, meanest, most misbehaving, sometimes cussing toddler at the pool but mine didn't shit in the pool. i felt bad for the mom when they left but then again, i wouldn't have told...i would have grabbed mackenzie and hauled ass to the car. no one wants to be responsible for making everyone get out of the pool so they can clean up the shit. and what's up with the lifeguards today? they act like their shit~no pun intended~doesn't stink. they are on such a power trip and i swear most of them don't look much older than 14. they have such attitudes and always have this pissed off look on their faces like they hate their jobs.  i thoroughly enjoyed watching one of them having to scoop the shit out of the pool! i wasn't a huge baywatch fan but i don't remember mitch and sammy jo having such attitudes! that's david hasselhoff and pamela anderson for those who don't know.

needless to say mac and i left and headed to our neighborhood pool. i realize that my child is not potty trained and it very easily could have been her that shit in the pool. but like i said, i wouldn't say anything, so no one would ever know.

well, i'm officially 6 months pregnant and i'm sooooo over it. it sucks. i already feel like i've been pregnant for a year and i've still got 16 weeks to go. my back hurts and i'm already having a hard time sleeping. i have got mac back in her bed where she stays until sometime around 3:00 a.m. and then climbs in bed with us. one step at a time.....

people keep asking if we have a name picked out and the answer is no...we can't seem to agree on anything. we do have one that we agree on but we aren't saying what it is yet. we are mulling over the idea and keeping it to ourselves for now. no, mom, i won't even tell you!!

i promise~again!~to be better about blogging.

happy tuesday!!

**oh, can anyone name what movie the title of this post comes from???**

dorothy knew her shit...

cory and i on the 18th hole
me in front of alcatraz in san francisco
beautiful view from our hotel in pebble beach
mackenzie in the pool
and playing on the beach...
performing her duties as flower girl...yes, she did it!!
me and my brother, brett
the family after the wedding...
when she said there's no place like home. we just got home sunday night from our vacations. first we spent thursday through sunday in mexico for my brother's wedding. we had all the kids with us and it was anything but relaxing. mackenzie was all over the place, jumping into the pool, jumping off rock walls into the pool. she wore me out! then cory and i left for california on tuesday~without kids. we flew into san francisco, rented a cadillac and drove to napa where we spent two days. we then took the 3 hour drive to pebble beach. it was WONDERFUL. so relaxing, the weather was awesome! i have to admit it was hard to be in wine country and not be able to drink but that just gives me a reason to go back...

i posted some pics from both trips. happy tuesday!

perks of pregnancy....

this is a picture of me and the other two preggos i bunked with...hey, mindy and katie!
you may be wondering why on earth i posted this picture...or better yet, who the hell it is? well, it's me and i posted it because MY BOOBS WILL NEVER LOOK THIS WAY AGAIN. when not pregnant, i'm lucky to fill out a B cup...really, i could probably wear an A but refuse to buy one. now, i'm sporting D's, people. yes, D. it's unbelievable. one of the few perks of pregnancy.

well, my girl's trip to horseshoe bay spa and resort was wonderful...i got some much needed r&r. the pool was wonderful and it was nice to just lay around and not do anything but relax. then i watched a movie, "made of honor" with patrick dempsey. it was cute. i had a nice dinner and was in bed by 10:30. it was bliss. 

we leave on thursday for my brother's wedding in mexico. i'm very nervous to take mackenzie on the plane...she's only been once and she was 5 months old. i apologize in advance to everyone that is on our flight....it should be interesting. she is supposed to be the flower girl in the wedding and i say supposed to because no one knows if she will actually fulfill her duties come showtime. i just hope she doesn't yell "dammit" or some other obscenity during the ceremony. here's to hoping...

wife #1 seeking wife #2....

so i'm sitting her watching 20/20 which i often do on friday nights...i know...what a social life, right? it's all about sex and they were just talking about polygamy. now, i've mentioned before about cory wanting a sister wife and joked about it. i always say if she cooks and cleans, bring her on. however, she can't have kids....hell, no. i don't want my own half the time much less someone elses.  anyway, cory and i are sitting here watching this and these people all seem to have really full, good lives. and these are not those fundamentalist mormons...you know the ones with the dresses, hair in a bun, no make-up...these are normal looking people. but what always strikes me as odd is the men....most of them look like they would be lucky to get ONE wife much less several. seriously. not attractive. not that their wives are beauty queens. but in one of the cases, one wife said that the other cooks breakfast every morning while she sleeps in....uh, excuse me?? did i hear that right?? where do i sign up? sleeping late? every day?? that's heaven. i only have a few rules:

1. i have to be the boss lady...the boss wife

2. they can't be prettier than me...vain, i know. but if you can't feel like the most beautiful woman in the world in your home, where can you??

3. they can't have any kids

4. they absolutely can not wear those ridiculous dresses

5. they must take my side against cory...always. no matter what. period. you know, strength in numbers.

i almost want to place on ad on craig's list or something just to see what kind of respones i would get. not that i'd actually go through with it...just curious.

well, i'm off to horseshoe bay resort tomorrow! hopefully i'll have some good stories to blog about!

now what??

i come to you from my bed...it is 10 a.m. and i'm still in my pj's. i just finished a bowl of cereal. and i'm doing all of this...alone. there is no toddler running around begging for fruit snacks, orange juice or the new snack of the moment, marshmallows. my mom took mackenzie home with her yesterday. she will not come home until sunday. blake also went, along with jake, so there are no obnoxious teenagers farting, cussing and getting on my last nerve. the only child left here is ashlen, who with faults of her own, may be the most perfect one of all. after all, she drives so i don't have to take her anywhere. and she's learning to cook....she so graciously cooked dinner for us last night. yes, it was just homemade mac and cheese but still...no one ever cooks for me. unless our good friend, javier, comes over. he kicks me out of my own kitchen. but hey, i'm not complaining.

so i'm sitting her contemplating all the million things i could do today...and tomorrow. saturday is already planned. i'm going on an overnight with my girlfriends to horseshoe baby spa and resort. i'm planning on doing nothing but laying out by the pool and eating. me and two other preggos are staying in a room so we will no doubt watch movies and eat junk food while the others take jello shots and play the ever so popular "never have i ever..." i do know that ash wants to go see "sex and the city" today since she hasn't seen it yet. i told her i'd be happy to go see it again. i'm thinking maybe the alamo drafthouse so we can eat, too! i'm all about the food these days....maybe some fried mushrooms and pizza....mmmmm! right now, i'm craving some lemonade....

tomorrow, maybe i'll get a pedicure and a manicure...who knows? the possibilities are endless. i'm thinking of just laying out by the pool all day.

but i have to say, i do miss mackenzie. i miss hearing those little feet running across the house. she tells me now, "i love you all the sky." something her daddy taught her. it's so cute.

don't get me wrong...i'm sooo going to enjoy my break. once this new baby comes, i imagine it will be harder to convince someone to take TWO of them.

well, i'm going to go for now...must decide what i'm going to do with myself today!

happy thursday!

mac and friends at the fire station..

mackenzie had a playdate at the fire station on friday...it was our second time to go. the firemen are great...the let them try on the gear, climb on the truck, basically everything short of putting out a fire. mac informed me that the jacket was too heavy.

the brewers hit sea world.....

this was mac's enthusiasm at the beluga whale show...
and this was her enthusiasm while waiting for a dolphin to take the fish...
finally!!!!!
and this was her after being in the car about 5 minutes....

needless to say, she had a great time and was worn completely out...the water park was her favorite part. she liked putting on the life jacket and floating around the lazy river. she also went down a big water slide with her daddy. i think the landing startled her a bit, but she said she wanted to do it again...she has no fear. cory was completely disgusted at the water park...he's not a "public" pool kind of person. it's kind of gross if you let yourself think about it too much but i was so damn hot, i didn't care who i was swimming with. and any dark particles floating around, i chose to believe were dirt, pieces of bark or anything else other than fecal matter...but, we had a great time.

happy saturday!

and the winner is...

me!! my friend shauna had a contest on her blog where you submitted a funny story. the theme was, "i knew i had married the wrong person when......" well, this is what i put and it won me a $100 target gift card!! so thank you to shauna and special thanks to my wonderful husband who provides hours of entertainment...

i knew i had married the wrong person when i learned of his blatant disrespect for the hand towel. you see, i've always kept a hand towel in the bathroom for purposes of drying hands and/or face. of course, most people know the purpose of a hand towel in the bathroom.....except for my husband. while drying my face with said hand towel one morning, i noticed a horrible stench.  i quickly examined the towel to find streaks of brown. yes, it was shit. i knew there was only one person who could be responsible. so i confronted my husband and that is when i found out that he sometimes uses the hand towel to wipe his ass....yes, his ass.

true story....i shit you not. 

from the mouths of babes...

or more specifically, mackenzie brewer. at the ripe old age of 2 1/2, she has aquired quite the vocabulary. why, just today at the pool, she fell down and proceeded to announce to anyone within a mile radius, "owwww! i hurt my butt." plain as day. all i could say was, "yes, you did. are you okay?" i was just grateful she didn't say ass. 

yesterday, she happened to catch cory in the buff and she said, "daddy, you're naked." again, plain as day...there was no denying what she had said. not sure where she heard the word naked or better yet, how she knows what it means.  she has begun saying "whatever." there's one that i thought would atleast be saved until her pre-teen years...i'm sure i didn't start using it until atleast 12. oh, and let's not forget, "not yet." example:

me: mackenzie, come here so i can change your diaper.

mac: no, not yet.

and these are just some of the mild phrases she has picked up. as you can imagine, having teenagers around all the time, mainly teenage boys, interesting conversations are happening all the time. the other day, we were in the car, and she started saying, "you little fart!" now, i'll have to admit, i've been guilty of calling her that myself. however, the next one, i can't take credit for. she know refers to blake and all his little friends as "homos" because that's what cory calls them sometimes. and i have heard "bullshit" escape her precious mouth a time or two. my mom had her out shopping the other day and she yelled, "dammit." all the women around started laughing. in her defense, she does use it in the correct way...she's always pissed about something when she says it. and before you go calling cps on me, i've heard from several people that "dammit" was a  favorite of their child's as well. so there.

her loving father taught her that boys have titties and girls have boobies. funny, i always thought they were the same thing. my husband...a bottomless pit of useful wisdom. anyhoo, she pointed to one of hers today and said, "i've got boobies." and then pointed to the other and said, "and i've got titties." all i could say was, "yes, you do."

so, yes, it appears that i have given birth to one of THOSE kids...you know, the one that other kids' parents don't want them around because of the things they can pick up from them. like in the movie "christmas story" when ralphie drops the "f" bomb and when is mom asks him where he heard it from, he blames his friend, schwartz....knowing all along that he hears it from his own father all the time. my point is, i envision a lot of phone calls in my future telling me that my darling mackenzie has taught their child a bad word or two. or informed her whole kindergarden class that boys have titties and girls have boobies.

you know, it just dawned on me, that whenever she runs in a room after stripping down to nothing, we always say, "you little naked butt!" who would have guessed she'd understand what it meant??

god help me....

so true....

my dad sent this to me....funny and pretty accurate.

WOMAN'S POEM: 

Before I lay me down to sleep, 

I pray for a man, who's not a creep, 

One who's handsome, smart and strong. 

One who loves to listen long, 

One who thinks before he speaks, 

One who'll call, not wait for weeks. 

I pray he's gainfully employed, 

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. 

Pulls out my chair and opens my door. 

Massages my back and begs to do more. 

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, 

Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?' 

I pray that this man will love me to no end, 

And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM: 

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with 

huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, 

and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This 

doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit. 

The End