Thursday, March 17, 2011

i can't even come up with a title that would do this justice....

so everyone knows i like trashy t.v. i will pretty much watch anything. my brother and sister-in-law were here last weekend and asked me if i had seen "the wild and wonderful whites of west virginia." i had not. he explained to me that it was a documentary about some hillbillies in west virginia and that i HAD to see it. so i searched the guide and recorded the next showing which was tuesday night on the movie channel. cory and i sat down to watch it last night. i was really curious because my brother had already texted me earlier in the day to ask if i had watched it.

holy. shitballs.

i don't even know where to start. first of all, if you haven't seen it, WATCH IT. NOW. it is a train wreck. no it's beyond that. it's a train wreck times a million. how these people do not have their own reality show is beyond me. here is the trailer for this fun, family, flick...

you may think you know white trash. you don't. unless you know THESE people. they take family dysfunction to a whole new, trashy level. you can't stop watching. and just when you think you've met the craziest one..BAM..they hit you with another one that is more nutty than the one before.

the most infamous, i believe, is jesco white. he smokes, drinks, does drugs....and tap dances. yes. tap dances. he also has a pretty tattoo of elvis and charles manson on his back. he feels that those two personalities best describes HIS personality. need i say more??

i don't really want to talk anymore about the film because you must watch it yourself. i can't do it justice. so go watch it. and then come back and leave your comments.

make sure your kids are NOT in the room.

i did check and it's available on netflix. it is also on the movie channel sunday night at 10:40.

so forget charlie sheen for two seconds and check them out. they have definitely cornered the market on CRAZY.

Monday, March 7, 2011

anyone speak african??? anyone??

so you heard the story of the non-proposal. however, long before i basically proposed to myself, cory and i had discussions on what type of wedding we wanted. he made it perfectly clear that he didn't care to have a wedding at all. **crickets**
not have a wedding?? no way! i've never done this before. i plan on it being my only one. we were SO having a wedding. and then the compromise was made: we would have a wedding IF there was a honeymoon in africa to follow. ok. no problem. where are my bride's magazines??

so we did not take said honeymoon after the wedding. it was october and we had two kids in school. and then before i knew it, i was pregnant with mackenzie...NOT until march for all you people that are frantically doing the math.

so fast forward to 2010, and he comes to me and says he's going to africa with his buddy, brent. ok. have fun. see you later. don't get killed by a cape buffalo. or malaria. it didn't hurt my feelings that he was taking OUR honeymoon without me. then came the talk of me going with him. it took some convincing but finally i agreed. so while i was mentally preparing myself to go watch my husband stalk and kill the most dangerous animal on the planet, i was told by brent that i should wait and go next year when his wife was going. there would be a resort. and a pool. SOLD. so africa was off the table for me. this was in october.

i guess the guilt of taking our honeymoon without his blushing bride was starting to get to cory and he started asking me to go AGAIN. so after turning him down several times, it dawned on me yesterday...why the hell not??? this is a once and a lifetime opportunity to see a part of the world i've never seen. never even thought about seeing, for that matter. and although i don't hunt, i do enjoy watching him get such a high off of killing poor, defenseless animals. BUT...these are not poor, defenseless animals. these are cape buffalo, which FYI, you better kill the first time you shoot it because it turns the tables quick and comes after YOU. and alligators. or crocodiles. whatever. you get the point. I will be the poor defenseless creature. so i said what the hell, i'm in! my decision had nothing to do with the fact that at that particular time, i was telling layton for the third time in thirty minutes to put his pants back on. but 10-12 days with no kids?? AND an added bonus: our babysitter who will be keeping the kids has promised to potty train layton while we are gone!!!!!!!!!!! i'm not certain, but i'm pretty sure, at that particular moment when she spoke those words, i could hear angels singing HALLELUJAH!!!!!

so i'm going to africa in june. i would love to hear stories if you've been. but NO stories of shit you've seen on the discovery channel of safaris gone bad or anything like that. my imagination is wild enough.

i hope to come back doing that "clicking" thing they do when they speak....

off to find a book on the lower zambezi valley...

do yo think they have WI-FI?? or starbucks??