Thursday, January 24, 2008

check this out...

this was supposedly printed in a magazine back in the 50's. i'm almost positive it was written by a man...or maybe a woman that was afraid for her life or something. i'll be posting my own set of rules shortly...stay tuned.


Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
Don't greet him with complaints or problems.
Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.

father knows best?????????

so i was thinking about this show the other day and while i've never actually seen an epidode, i have a pretty good idea what it's like. considering it was during the "leave it to beaver" era, i'm sure the mom vacuumed in her heels, the parent's slept in separate twin beds and the wife was oh so obedient to her husband~yuck. anyway, it got me thinking, just what is it that father knows best...first of all, let me say that i feel my father is the wisest person i know. he would argue with me on that, but truly, i trust his opinion and advice above anyone else's. but let me tell you one thing i know that father does not know best.....how much work it takes to run a household and family. and i'm not talking about the financial aspect...i know my husband works his ass of to support this family financially and i'm not taking that away from him in any way. but if you were to ask my husband what i do in a day, he'd probably tell you that the majority of my day is spent alternating between watching t.v., eating, and napping. men, or i should say SOME men, think that just because a woman stays at home, that we are not working. what a crock. my day is non-stop and while it may not be as mentally strenuous as my husband's job, it is demanding physically and emotionally. any stay at home mom will tell you that dealing with a stubborn toddler that doesn't want to do anything but color and eat cheese all day, is tough. but you know why they don't think that...because they would just let them color all day (color the walls, furniture, dogs, etc.) and eat cheese all day. but who will be up with said toddler at two in the morning when they are extremely constipated from all the damn cheese??? you guessed it, mom. dad will be over there snoring away, not a care in the world. my husband insists on having a cleaning lady because according to him, i don't clean well enough. i'm not quite sure what he's basing his standards on considering his house was DISGUSTING when i first moved in. but anyway. he would rather keep the cleaning lady and then give me a hard time because we pay a cleaning lady...i have asked him numerous times to let her go. he refuses. so what do you do?

back to my point...men don't have a clue...even a man that is a stay at home dad doesn't have a clue unless he does things like a mom does. for example, when i'm here with my daughter all day, i am constantly picking up the house, doing laundry and various other things at once..you know, multi-tasking. when my husband is left with mackenzie, he gets on the couch and she runs wild. i came home one time, he was passed out on the couch while mac was standing up in the bar stool and the back door was unlocked...for those who don't know, we have a pool and the back door is to be locked at ALL TIMES. no exceptions. in other words, everything goes to shit and i have to clean up the mess when i get home. if he watched her like i do, he'd know how hard it is. but he'd rather assume that during the day, that's me on the couch...napping and watching tv. and yes, i do have the tv on all day because i've always been that way...i like to hear it in the background...but by no means am i in front of it zoned out all day long. they just don't have a clue. the only "me" time that i have during the day, meaning the only time i am doing something for just myself, is at the gym. and while i enjoy working out, i'm doing it because i want to look good and be healthy. sure, there are many other things i'd rather be doing but apparently you can't look like carmen electra by just wishing for it so i must work out.


my husband is not the only one that feels this way...numerous women~and by numerous, i'm talking about my group of wonderful friends, have told me that there husbands feel the same way...


i have a proposal for a new reality show....let the dad take over for one whole week. they must do everything that the mom does and the same way that mom does. no exceptions. maybe then they'd appreciate a little more what we do for our family.


until then...stay strong fellow moms and know that while your husband may not appreciate your efforts and hard work, i'll be toasting everyone of you in the six o'clock hour..and the seven...and eight..and well, you get the point.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

the happy couple....


we interrupt this program to report this exciting news!! my wonderful, yet delusional, husband is mad at me today~the feeling is definately mutual~i was refusing to argue with him earlier so i took the phone of the hook. he called and got the voicemail and either didn't realize he was being recorded or wanted me to hear the following brilliant idea. he asked his co-worker and friend, david, if he wanted to just turn gay and get rid of women all together. i did not hear david's response but i think the picture above says it all...


i hope they will be very, very happy together.
oh, the picture also came with a message that read something like this:
"we are so excited to move into our new house where we can hit balls and throw partys and you will not be invited."
do you think they were talking golf balls....or another kind???


stock tip of the day: is KY a publically traded company??

is this considered child abuse????


i swear, she gets in there on her own...she absolutely loves it in there. oscar, not so much as you can see by the look on his face..

lola's home....


here she is...the newest addition to our family. she is so sweet and oscar loves her!


i'll blog later....

Thursday, January 17, 2008

my ideal candidates for president...




video


ted nugent and ann coulter in '08...agree or disagree with them but i guarantee they'll get shit done. and how can you argue with ted's logic??and as far as ann is concerned..most people don't like her and i'm not saying that i agree with everything she has to say but i love the fact that she has the balls to say it.

i think they make a winning pair..

darwin may have been on to something.....


blake and i took mackenzie to the ft. worth zoo before christmas. i shot this picture because the scene was very familiar to me. i'm not sure if this is a male and female, but for the sake of this blog, we'll pretend that they are. this particular scenario can be seen on any given day or night in the brewer house. cory has always got something he's wanting me to check out on his back, back of his head, you name it. i'm always hearing, "tracie, can you come look at this?" and i do it everytime..no matter how disgusting..for better or worse, right? i so think i have earned that laptop. moving on...
so after seeing this at the zoo, i got to thinking..maybe we did evolve from apes. i mean, i guess it's not that far of a stretch if you watch them for a while. they do behave like we do~or we behave like them~however you choose to look at it.
i had one throw shit at me once. i was in the 7th grade and we were on a field trip. i had my brand new white guess jeans on~and i do believe my mom tried to get me to not wear them because they would get dirty at the zoo. of course, she was right~she was always right~ but i didn't know that at the time. so i wore the jeans. our teacher warned us not to taunt the apes because they don't like it...well, who the hell does?? they have no verbal skills to express their disdain, so they do the next most logical thing...they throw shit at you. perfectly understandable..i've wanted to throw a pile of shit at a few people myself...so i had shit all over my new guess jeans. lessons learned: don't taunt the gorillas and do not wear new white jeans to the zoo.
on another note, i am really getting sick of this whole writer's strike....just give them what they want!! my tv time is starting to suffer tremendously! no grey's anatomy, office, desparate housewives, brothers and sisters..the list goes on and on. atleast lost comes back on the 31st~yeah!! i can't wait...i did read that one of my new favorite shows is being cancelled because of the strike..dirty sexy money..i was so getting into that show. this strike has got to end. soon.
boot camp is going great..i'm really enjoying it. and getting up is not that bad..i like the fact that by 7 am my workout is done for the day.
well, that's all for now...happy thursday.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

poll

if you look to the right, i've posted a poll..don't know why exactly..just thought it would be fun! let me know what you think. but only if it's good...just kidding.

boot camp update...i am extremely sore today. like getting on and off the toilet hurts like hell. i've already taken two anti-inflammatories and will be raiding my mother's pain meds before i go to bed. between that and the wine, i should be fine.

regrets...

january is always a great time to reflect on your life and the past year. many people make resolutions...to just break them a few days/weeks/months later. i gave up on that..my resolutions are pretty general...you know, try and and be a good person, wife and mother, etc...

but something i often hear people say is that they have no regrets in their life and that really baffles me. really?? no regrets? none what so ever? how is that possible. i have tons and tons of regrets and i've only been on this earth for 33 years..some people that are 80 years old would tell you that they have no regrets and wouldn't change a thing. well, good for them but i think they are full of shit. i have big regrets from my past to small regrets that i have on an almost daily basis. i regret people that i have dated...wait that's like an understatement..i have huge, monsterous regrets about people that i have dated. such regret that it makes me cringe. i've dated some serious douchebags and i regret every last one of them. a woman once told me that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. well, honey, i'm not talking about the cute, green kermit the frog type...i had the ugly, fat, brown, bullfrog. i could spend a lot of time writing about people i've dated that i regret but i refuse to give those assholes anymore of my time or energy. if any of them happen to stumble across this blog: you may not know who you are but i do and you can kiss my ass. next.

i regret not telling the asshole who didn't open the door for me at the mall the other day to kiss my ass and didn't his mother raise him better?? and if not his mother, has he ever had a wife, girlfriend, boyfriend anyone teach him any manners?

i always regret getting drunk the next day when i'm feeling like total shit. but, boy, it sure was fun while i was doing it.....hey, dana, when is that next girl's night out?? i'm ready.

i regret not being able to fit into my size 4 jeans..that's why i'm going to boot camp and working out with a trainer..and because i don't/won't give up chocolate. i'd rather kill myself working out then deny myself what i want to eat. i can use portion control but if i want to have a cookie or anything sweet, i'm going to have it. end of discussion. period.

i regret parenting choices that i have made. i won't go into detail but there are definately things that i would have done differently. live and learn..and drink lots of wine in the process.

i regret something totally disgusting that my husband did the other morning...but i've been sworn to secrecy. i told him i was going to blog about it and he made me promise that i wouldn't. but it was very, very gross and i'm still scarred by it. i believe that the only thing that may help me get over it is a shiny, new apple laptop. (hint, hint)

while i don't believe in dwelling on past mistakes, i think it's perfectly healthy to have regrets..we are only human. we make mistakes, learn from them and move on. and drink lots and lots and lots of wine in the process.

i believe it is 5 pm and that means that there is some wine in the kitchen with my name on it...cheers!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

tim, tim, he's our man.......


so, blake and i are hooked on the show friday night lights...i love, love, love it. i don't know if it makes me nostalgic for my high school cheerleader days or what but i literally can't wait til the next episode. i'm totally hooked. and i've totally got a huge, ridiculous, high school-type crush on tim riggins....the bad boy on the dillion panthers football team. he is soooooo hot...and don't worry....i checked the actor's bio before i wrote this and he will be 27 in april...so i'm not a pervert crushing on some high school kid. he's totally an adult..and a fine one at that. i know of someone else who watches the show and feels the same way....hello, dana!! you know what i'm talking about. if you haven't watched the show, you need to check it out..if anything to see how hot this guy is. yummy. yummy. yummy. i could go on more but i think you get the point.
so my wonderful sister-in-law gave me an excellent idea for a blog. men, listen carefully and take these words to heart:her husband~who is one of my husband's brother~was supposed to watch the kids while she had a hair appointment. she was getting the works: color, cut, etc. now as women, we know that our hair appointments are planned many weeks in advance and you know~as well as your husband/boyfriend should know by now~that you will be there for several hours. well, apparently my brother-in-law did not plan accordingly and was rather frustrated at the length of time she was gone. he had the audacity to tell her that she should find some place else to get her hair done...uh, excuse me?? everyone knows that a woman's hairdresser is like her priest, maybe even more sacred. you don't just toss her or him out because of inconvience...especially if it's your husband's convenience that's compromised. is he joking?? these relationships take years to build. we can't just pop into pro-cuts like a guy and let them go to whacking on our hair. get real. there are two things~well, there are more than two but for the sake of time i'll just mention two~that a man should not give his opinion on...a woman's hairdresser and her gynecologist. the hairdresser i've already explained. as far as the gynecologist, well, if you don't have the parts, you shouldn't be able to pick the mechanic. that's all i'm saying....for those who are curious, i have finished day 1 and 2 of bootcamp. not bad...i'm still walking. i feel really great about it so far. the first day, we did relays on the treadmill...in groups of 4 we each ran a quarter mile. oh, i thought, i've got this...i was a track star for christ's sake. well, 15 plus years and two babies later, tracie ain't running as fast as she used to. but i wasn't the worst...probably somewhere in the middle. and i'm comfortable with that...just means i've got room to improve. as far as getting up so early, it's really not that bad. i will have to miss on friday and i'm pretty bummed about it..but my mama's having surgery and she needs me...save your concerns...it is of the plastic variety. love you mom...


enjoy your picture of tim riggins.......did i say yummy??

Saturday, January 5, 2008

things i'd like to see happen in 2008....

besides the obvious like the war ending, world peace, health and happiness for my family, blah, blah..these are some other things i would like to see happen in the coming year.

paris hilton to go away...i don't care where she goes just go the hell away! i'm so over her...what is the appeal anyway?? i hope her grandfather does give all his money to charity and she ends up working at a wal-mart somewhere...not that there is anything wrong with wal-mart..i love, love, love wal-mart...and i'd love, love, love to see paris working at one. oh, and she can take lindsay lohan with her.

brad and angelina to split up..actually, i'd like her to cheat on him with some random person and get a bad case of herpes which she will then in turn give to brad. it will serve him right for hooking up with her in the first place while still married to jen.

jennifer aniston to find a great guy, get married and have a baby. all the while having brad bugging the hell out of her to take him back. but with his raging case of herpes, no one will date him. sucker.

britney to get her shit together...i do enjoy hearing about all her craziness but i do feel sorry for her kids. and i do wish people would lay off her mom...it's not her fault. i mean being an unwed teenage mother myself, it was no fault of my mother's...my mother was the best. she didn't even realize i was having sex until i showed up almost 5 months pregnant. but i digress.

micheal jackson to become black again. i remember when blake was little, he saw mj on t.v. and said to me, "i thought micheal jackson was black??" he was dead serious. i would love for him to get his shit together and be the great performer he once was. but i think he's too far gone..he's going to need a mr. potato head nose before long.

donald trump to cut his damn hair..i mean, his wife is hot..is she really so blind by the money that the hair doesn't bother her???

ryan seacrest to admit he is gay..not that there is anything wrong with that. maybe he could hook up with anderson cooper..i heard somewhere that he is gay, too.

my loving, wonderful husband to buy me a laptop...so i can blog anytime, anywhere. love you, honey.

for me to kick ass in my boot camp..i start on monday.

i know more things will come to mind later. that's all for now.