my mom sent this to me and i've seen it before~may even have posted it on here~but it's so funny! enjoy!
ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for
them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.
When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's
nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.
My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri. When I
retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a full-time job along with
her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.
Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age.
I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half
an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her
time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table.
I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable.
I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes
as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for
several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't
clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to
get them done before she goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for
her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for
better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two
or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to
think tact is one of my strong points.
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to
take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene.
I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade
and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well
make one for me too.
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I'm not saying that
showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it
impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife
because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all, we are
put on this earth to help each other.
Jim died suddenly on September 7th. of a perforated rectum. The police report says Jim
was found with a Calloway nine iron golf club jammed up his rear end, with only 5 inches
of grip left showing.
His wife Terri was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10
minutes to find her "not guilty". Accepting her defense that Jim, somehow without looking,
accidentally sat down on his golf club.