what were we thinking?????

we know have a high school graduate, one entering high school, a toddler and will have a newborn in 26 short weeks....hopefully less. i'm sitting here listening to cory, blake and jake~our other "son" for those who don't know~talk about blake's new girlfriend. the new girlfriend that i just found out about 2 days ago. blake does not share things like that with me. that's probably because of a conversation him and i had a few years ago. it went something like this:

blake: (coming out of the bathroom) mom, i'm not your little boy anymore.

me: why do you say that?

blake: because i have hair on my balls.

me: (after the initial shock wore off) ok....i think maybe you should talk about things like that with cory.

blake: ok.

and that was that. he doesn't share anything pertaining to his "dating" life~or whatever you call it~it's not like they can actually go on a date. or anything pertaining to his private parts or hair that may be sprouting on them. i have to hear it from other moms when he has a girlfriend. now, i'm not too freaked out about it because he never brings them around....he stays too busy with all his sports, which is a good thing. i don't want him to get all wrapped up in girls this young. there is plenty of time for that later.....which brings me to my dilema. he will be 15 in september. so when he turns 16, which is usually when the real "dating" starts, i'll have a 4 year old and an almost 1 year old. and that's just the kids still at home. who knows where ashlen will be....out of here if she's smart. the conversations around here will consist of dirty diapers, mother's day outs and me nagging cory to make sure he's talked to blake about the importance of condoms. plus, she'll probably get tired of blake and his buddies begging her to buy them beer..which they probably will and she'll probably do. and yes, him and cory have already had that conversation. cory swears he gave him a box and he knows what to do with them. here's hoping! you may think that 14 is a little young, but trust me, it's not....some of these girls today are more aggressive than the boys. 

but what a stretch....raising babies while sending your other "baby" off into the world of dating and relationships....i'm not ready for this. i'm not ready for his first broken heart...i may have to kill the girl. and i'm not kidding...

i can just see my dad's face as he reads this....huge, huge smile on his face. anytime my kids give me grief,  he sees it as payback for all the hell that i put them through. and i was the good one. ok, ok i got pregnant at 18 but i didn't do drugs and only drank a few times during my four years of high school...that's gotta count for something, right?

so as i go to bed tonight, i'll think about the fact that we were only a few short years away from being done with raising kids and we decided to start all over again. all. over. again. 

i could really use a drink.......