Monday, June 30, 2008

gotta love this kid's honesty...

my mom sent this to me...pretty funny stuff.

This is really cute!!!    The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade 

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two  kids myself, 
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade 
classroom a few years back. 

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions 
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually show-and-tell 
is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish 
they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or 
limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, 
they're welcome. 

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, 
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow 
stuffed under her sweater. 

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and 
I'm going to tell you about his birthday' 

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a 
seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months 
through an umbrella cord.' 

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to 
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in 

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, 
Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around 
the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical 
duck walk and groaning.) 

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a 
sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed 
like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.) 

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he 
got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!'
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away.
It was too much!) 

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe' . 
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, 
out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it 
was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys 

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. 
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, 
I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along. 

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