Sunday, April 13, 2008

panic, aisle 4....part two

so, to pick up where we left off, i was having a full-on panic attack at target over the thought of having another baby. so i moved from shock to panic in one week.  the rational part of my brain knows that this is not impossible...i know people that are doing it right now...and make it look easy. i'm the last one out of my group of about 12 friends to get pregnant with their second...although this is actually my third...well, third pregnancy, fourth child. but there were 12 long years between my pregnancies...blake was full functioning by the time mac came along. i've never experienced two toddlers before. just the thought makes my head hurt and makes me want to take a nap. a really long nap. just today, i took mac to watch blake play basketball. between trying to keep her off of the court she so desparately wanted to get on and having her dive into a huge mud pile outside, i was about to pull my hair out. she was covered in mud~deja vu of the shit escapade the other day~so i had to take her into the bathroom and practically bathe her in the sink before i could put her in the car. now what would that scene have been like if i had a baby, too?? my headache just got worse. much worse. 
i know i need to snap out of this...it is what it is and it's time to deal. 
and to make matters worse, i guess i couldn't get lucky and have 3 pregnancies that did not involve nausea. i have been feeling sick to my stomach for several days now. i'm not throwing up..it's just a constant queaziness. lovely.

i'm sure excitement is just on the horizon....it's gotta be....right??

2 comments:

Mike & Lindsay said...

Sorry you're starting to feel bad. We'll get you through this, and there will be lots of drinking to look forward to after this baby :)

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