Thursday, November 29, 2007

demographic, my ass...

so, i was in tiffany's today to exchange cory's wedding band~yes, the one he got while we were shopping for my birthday~for a bigger size. i was casually trying to make conversation with the sales guy helping me, who by the way, looked all of 15 years old. so i asked him if they were pretty busy last friday, being the day after thanksgiving and all. he says to me, "not really, that's not really our demographic...people out shopping on black friday." uh....ooookaaaayyy. oh yea, buddy. let me tell you a little bit about your so-called demographic. see that ring you got in your hand...yea, that one. let me tell you something about the owner of that ring. this man walks around his front yard, in plain view of everyone, in his underwear while smoking a cigarette every morning. this same man has been known to be in the front yard, in his underwear, waving a pistol trying to scare off a possum. oh, and this same man, you know, the one that supposedly fits into your demographic, farts as much as he breathes. and not just normal farts~farts so bad and loud that i swear sometimes he is shitting his pants. and he does this anywhere and everywhere. elevators, department stores, etc. and he has also been known to go to 7-11 with no shoes or socks on and his dressed pants rolled up so to not ruin them. uh, can anyone say britney spears??? this is also the man that doesn't believe in showering on sundays...i mean, he doesn't have to work, so what's the point, right?? one time, i pulled in the driveway to find him in the garage with a dead deer hanging from the garage door opener. guts and all hanging out. no wonder we get so many letters from the homeowner's association. this is the man that believes a pair of boxers can be worn twice before being washed...all you have to do is turn them inside out. genius.
so, i'm sure if you were to ask the marketing division of tiffany and co if a person like this fits their target demographic they would turn their noses up in a heartbeat. but guess what??? he's got tiffany cuff links and a wedding band. go figure.
so i guess they can take their "demographic" and shove it up their snobby, pretentious asses! :)

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