Wednesday, August 29, 2007

they all do it!!

my dear friend shauna, who i've known all my life and who's blog inspired me to start my own (thanks, shauna!) had an interesting topic on her latest blog: the disgusting noises that men make. first of all, let me start off saying that i love my husband and when i married him, i knew all his annoying habits and felt that over time, they wouldn't bother me as bad. you know how sometimes when there is an annoying noise that is constant and people say after awhile you just don't notice it anymore?? wrong. not only do you still notice it (them) but they are even more annoying. for example, when cory brushes his teeth, he sounds like he is brushing his tonsils...i'm not kidding. he gags himself, over and over again. it's disgusting and very loud. people who have overheard this have actually asked me if he's okay in there? is he choking? nope, just brushing his throat! last night, he fell asleep on the couch, which he does most nights, (and i wonder why i'm not pregnant?!) and i was trying to watch a movie. all of a sudden, he starts farting. and i don't mean the occasional little toot...i mean, at one point, i could have sworn he shit his pants. and i wasn't going to wake him up to find, sir. if he shit his pants, he can lay in it. obviously wasn't bothering him. but he kept on and on and on. why are men so gassy?? and why aren't they embarassed by it?? i believe my husband has heard me pass gas once in the 5 years we have been together. and that was the day after giving birth so it doesn't count. i mean, your body is a wreck, you aren't responsible for the disgusting things oozing out of it, right? but i would be mortified if he told me i was laying on the couch farting in my sleep! not him. or any man for that matter. it's almost like a badge of honor for them. gross. and don't get me started on the snoring. it's a lost cause. but atleast it doesn't smell.
another annoying habit that i can't stand is why do men clip their toenails and/or fingernails anywhere in the house? if i need to do this, i usually sit on the edge of the toilet (lid down, of course) or bathtub and do it over the trashcan. i find his clippings in the bathtub, on the carpet, in the chair, on the couch...everywhere. it's so gross. i'm sure my daughter has probably consumed her share of toenails that she finds lying around...what do ya do?
and the most amazing part of all this: they wonder why we don't want to have sex with them? would they still want to have sex with us if we were farting all the time? yeah, they probably would, they are men. and they always want sex.
so anyone reading this that is not married..take note. these annoying habits don't become cute or quirky once you say i do...they are as disgusting and repulsive as they sound.
update on my fitness crusade: i went to an aerobics class yesterday with my friend danielle and it was awesome. i'm very sore today but feel great. was at the gym to meet trainer this morning and when i got mac out of the car, she had fever. but i was there, ready to go. that counts right?? i'll have to run with blake later or something.
gotta run. sick child wants me to hold her. later gators.


Lindsay G said...

I had me a smoker's laugh on the farting stories, and I don't even smoke!

The Nowell's said...

Too funny! I guess I should be lucky that James cuts his nails over the sink :) Girl you have got to be super woman with the works outs. I am so sore from the class yesterday!!!

HMitch said...

Ha Ha your blogs keep cracking me up. Everything you've said is true about men! And your new devotion to working out has me inspired to get my butt on the treadmill!

Missmindy said...

This had me laughing so hard, I especially love how it's posted right next to a big ol' picture of Cory so we can all put a face to the farts...HA! You better check your couch for turds!