Friday, September 21, 2007

keep your nakedness at home!

so, i was at the gym today~yes, for all you skeptics out there, i'm still going strong~and saw something rather disturbing. there is a woman who is pushing 70 easily, maybe even in her 70's and i've seen her a few times and always in the locker room. she is very skinny and her body is well, a body that a woman that age would have...think your grandma. unless your grandma is some sort of fitness guru whose body doesn't match her age. anyway, did i mention that everytime i've seen this woman, SHE IS NAKED!! COMPLETELY NAKED!! now before i continue, i'll tell you this~i wasn't brought up in a "naked" house (old sex in the city reference!) everyone was very discreet with their nakedness~meaning, we were naked behind closed doors. we weren't taught to be embarassed or ashamed of our bodies but we weren't taught to flaunt it wide open through the living room either. even to this day, i am so not a naked kind of person~i don't like to see my own self naked (much to my husband's chagrin) much less anyone else. it just makes me uncomfortable. i nursed mackenzie for almost 8 months and the only 2 people on earth to see my do this uncovered was my husband and my mom. unless someone was sneaking a peek that i don't know about! and to that i say...gross. i know that being in a locker room at a gym, you run the chance of seeing a naked person(s). but this was beyond anything i could have prepared for. first, her boobs are like~as my lovely friend melissa describes them~beaver tails. i had never heard that comparison before and about pissed my pants the first time she ever said it! and she gets completely nude~not a stictch of clothes. when she does finally put on a shirt, that's where it stops. she literally sits on the bench~NO UNDERWEAR~so there is nothing between her vajay-jay (and what may be seeping out if it!) and the bench. there she sits with just a t-shirt on, putting on the ugliest blue eyeshadow you have ever seen that just so happens to go with the hideous blue/turquoise/glittery polish she has on her nails and toes. i'd like to say that i admire the fact that she lets it all hang out and doesn't give two shits on who sees it, but truth is, I DON'T!!
but despite the horror i witnessed beforehand, i still had a great workout. i went 2.5 miles on the treadmill. it felt great. and when i choose which treadmill i'm going to get on, it's not a random-which-ever-is-available-type thing. oh, no. i look for the one that is sandwiched between a very fit, chic with a smokin' body (bitch) and a woman is much heavier than me (god love her). that way i can look over one shoulder and be like, ahh, that's why i'm working so i can look like that. then, look over the other shoulder and be like, ahh, that's why i'm working so hard......cuz i don't wanna look like that! and i mean i'm talking about a woman that weighs about 250. not that there is anything wrong with that.....don't want to offend anyone. yeah, right. i'm so not politcally correct...a favorite trait that i can proudly say i inherited from my father!
oh! exciting news! a few weeks ago, i e-mailed someone at austin monthly magazine about turning my blog into a column. they forwarded it to the editor and she replied this week. she said that while they are not looking for new columnists right now, she loved my blog~thought i had a super fun style~and would definately keep me in mind. i think i'll try a few other publications and i'm looking for suggestions! keep your fingers crossed!!
gotta go~it's wine time! have a great weekend!!

**coming soon~things that i'm addicted to!***


The Nowell's said...

I know exactly which lady you are talking about! Too funny! I am so proud of you for your dedication to working out. I hope to get back there once I start feeling better! That is awesome that you are looking into writing columns! I would definitely read them! I will keep my fingers crossed! Keep us posted. Have a great week!

Weekends Off said...

I didn't grow up in a "naked" house either, but I will say I love being naked...that said, seeing THAT in the lockeroom would bug me.

Isn't there some sort of "rule" in place that one should at least put down a towel before setting their naked parts on the bench? There should be!