Wednesday, September 19, 2007

skinny bitch=crazy bitch

oh, ladies...grab you a drink, get comfortable because this is going to be a doozy. first of all, i apologize for being lazy with my blog. i know you anxiously wait for me to post new, insane stories ripped straight from my crazy life...and i'm sorry i haven't been giving you your daily fix. i'll try and do better. so, i just got done reading the book "skinny bitch." now when i first heard about this book, i thought it would be about getting skinny, being fit and you know since i'm on this workout frenzy right now, i thought, why not? i'm sure there will some great tips in there. and i also read that victoria beckham was seen with a copy and we all know she has a rockin' body. this is a book like no other i've ever read. these two women..who refer to themselves as not just bitches but skinny bitches...are so freakin' full of themselves. first, they talk about how if you eat meat or dairy you will never, ever be skinny!!!!! what???????? are they serious. of course, they are vegans...which means they eat no meat or animal products. so no dairy...milk, cheese,eggs...all a big no-no. they go into this tyrade about the meat industry and the horror of the slaughterhouses and yada yada yada. they have some valid when they talk about all the steriods and growth hormones they pump into cattle...when you consume the meat or milk from that cattle you are ingesting everything they are. but seriously, to say that you will never be skinny if you eat meat or dairy?? i beg to differ, bitches. i've been skinny before and i damn sure eat meat and dairy. nothing is better than a big, fat juicy steak...and cheese....who can live without cheese??? they tell you all these meat and dairy substitutes are out there but i'm sure they taste like total ass...fake cheese??? i hate to think what that is made from. and i know why these women are bitches....THEY ARE FREAKIN' HUNGRY!! all they eat are fake meat and fake cheese. they talk about all these great vegan cookies....might as well munch on a piece of cardboard. i shouldn't say that...i haven't tried them. but come on! cookies made without eggs!! how good can they be? no wonder victoria beckham never smiles.......SHE'S FREAKIN' STARVING!! so i went to the grocery store today and found myself looking at the ingredients of everything! which i guess isn't a bad thing..i know my diet could be better but i was borderline obsessive today. finally, i said screw it...these chics have gotten in my head. i know you can eat meat and dairy and still be i right? and if not then skinny i won't be..cause i'm not giving them up. period.
i want these chics to go on oprah preaching this crap...can you imagine. cause you know oprah can throw down some meat and dairy! this has given me even more motivation to keep working out. in fact, when i reach my target, i'm going to take a picture of myself in a tub filled with red meat and a big ol' glass of milk....and i'm going to send it to those skinny bitches. and show them that even us card-carrying, meat-eating, dairy-having bitches can be skinny, too.
no, i won't do that...that's a waste of perfectly good meat.
the book is worth reading, though. it's very blunt, to the point. it's like no other book i've ever read.
gotta go....i'm feeling like a piece of cheese..


castababy said...

I would rather eat cheese then be skinny! I am always 10 pounds overweight and I call that my "guacamole" fat - because if I wanted to lose that last 10 pounds - I would have to give up guacamole - and that is just not happening.

Lindsay G said...

I just hate skinny bitches. I should write a book called fat bitches about all the foods we like.

Weekends Off said...

All I want after reading that is a philly cheesesteak sandwich...