things that make you go hmmm.............

just a few things to ponder......

1. why are vietnamese-born people so freakin' good at doing nails?? seriously.
2. why is my husband so obsessed with indian women and their birth-giving and breastfeeding skills?? all through out my pregnancy he told me how indian women gave birth in a field (duh..cause they didn't have hospitals) and how they would breastfeed the whole tribe? the babies of the tribe, that is. well, you know what? you should have married pocha-freakin'-hontas! cause i'm going to the hospital and i'm asking for all the drugs they can legally give me! and i'm only offering my milk-jugs to my own kid, thank you very much!
3. why does same said husband have so many opinions on those subjects anyway.....i mean, those are two things that i can definately, without reservation, say that he will never, ever do in this lifetime!
4. why would i give up a vital organ to see him(or any other male, for that matter) do either one?????
5. now, supposedly, according to the bible, women have periods because eve ate the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden. now, adam was right there along with her....sure, he could have said no but he didn't..so where is the male version of "aunt flo" or male p.m.s????????
6. why do some men think it is ok to not shut the door when they are using the restroom??? fyi, there is nothing you are doing in there that we want to be witness to....trust me. they put a lock on those doors for a reason, buddy. use it.
7. why am i up at this ridiculous hour?????????

oh, i've got a new man to add to "my list." i just finished watching "fracture" with anthony hopkins and ryan gosling. no, it's not anthony hopkins (although his voice is quite appealing). ryan gosling, who i loved in the notebook, looked really hot in this movie. kind of like the guy next door......if the guy next door was a real hot lawyer. good movie, you should check it out!

anyway, i'm out........for now.

my ass has got to get in shape!!

ok, i've really got to start working out. and not just for the smart, obvious reasons like it's good for my health, it will make me slimmer, blah, blah, blah. and the fact that i am the most comfortable wearing either a) anything with no wasistband (aka a dress) or b) anything with an elastic, drawstring waistband. no, the reason i need to get in shape is in case i am being chased by crazy people with knives!! cory and i were watching "vacancy" the other night. i don't want to give anything away in case you are planning on seeing it, but there were some crazy people with knives after this couple. all i kept thinking while watching this is that cory and i would soooooo be dead. we are so out of shape. i mean these people were having to run, climb up things, crawl through tunnels. it was insane. you would have to be in some serious shape to survive. we'd be screwed!! i think at some point, i'd just turn around and run directly into the knife just so i could stop running! so it's settled. next week, i'm joining a gym and getting a trainer. never know when crazy people are going to be after you with knives.

how could i forget????

i left a very important person off my list of men........vince vaughn. how could i forget him?? i do know him after all. we shared a brief encounter on the "ellen show." and if i would have been single then.......well, things would have went down a whole lot different. peace out.

a few good men....

so i've been thinking about something lately. if my wonderful husband gave me a free pass (or a few free passes) to be with someone famous, who would i choose?? well, there are a few.

1. julian mcmahon. he is one of the doctors on the show nip/tuck. delicious. so what if his eyebrows are more groomed than mine?? who's paying attention to the eyebrows?

2. mark walberg. yuuummmmyyy. he gets better looking with age! although he did look good when he was modeling underwear for calvin klein! marky mark...hot. who'd a thunk it?? i'd like to see his "funky bunch!"

3. matthew mcconaughey. not sure if that's spelled right. now, this is a tricky one because i've heard from several sources that he smells....and not good. he did admit on oprah that he hasn't worn deodorant. he claims he makes his own cream....FYI, matt, cream and deodorant..not the same thing. i could just get drunk...does alcohol impair your sense of smell?? but he's still hot. of course, according to my husband, he's hotter. no comment.

4. george clooney. like a fine wine...better with age. back in the day when he was on "facts of life" (remember that show..loved it!) he had a mullet and was dorky. but now....wow! i've heard he may be gay. like i care. that just means he'd be good to shop with, too. doesn't get much better than that!

5. rob lowe. another one that has aged very, very well. anyone who watches brothers and sisters knows what i'm talking about. he's a classic.

so that's all for now...i'll update as more come to mind. have a good sunday.

ooops

i left one of my favs off the list. sixteen candles!!! how could i forget long duck dong??? isn't it funny to watch these movies know that you are older and you actually understand the jokes? good times.

top ten 80's movies

ok, i'm obviously struggling to come up with things to blog about. but as i was laying (or lying, i can never remember which is correct) in bed last night, i was thinking about some of my favorite movies. i know what you are thinking, wow, her nights must be really lame. well, they are. and i've made peace with that. anyhoo, i'd like to present you with my top ten favorite 80's movies.

10. girls just wanna have fun. it features a pre sex in the city sarah jessica parker and helen hunt. a rather cheesy film about two high school girls who are dying to be on an equally cheesy show called "dance t.v." my friend courtney and i used to have "dance-offs" inspired by this movie, of course.

9. breakfast club. everyone remembers detention, right? but i don't remember if being quite this fun. oh and ally sheedy's crazy character in today's time, would totally be shooting up the school. she was nuts!!

8. fast forward. ok, most of you probably have never even heard of this ridiculous movie. it's another movie about young adults who go to new york to make it as dancers. courtney and i watched it religiously and yes, danced. anyone sensing a pattern here? besides the fact that me and courtney were obviously huge dorks? maybe i was a dancer in a former life??

7. pretty in pink. ahh..molly ringwald. gotta love her if you were a child of the 80's. and andrew mccarthy...yum. i mean back then, not so yum now. and she made her own prom dress!!!! now that's drama.

6. revenge of the nerds. not a lot to say about this one..title pretty much sums it up. you've got nerds, they get revenge. still pretty funny!

5. any friday the 13th or halloween movie. ok i know a lot of you don't like scary movies. but my friends and i couldn't get enough of these cheesy things. and they are not even scary! molly ringwald having to make her own prom dress...now that's horror!

4. thelma and louise. just watched this one for the millionth time the other night. never gets old. who hasn't watch that and pictured yourself and a friend in the leading roles. well, i have. and like i said, i'm a dork.

3. footloose. kevin bacon was the shit back then. and he could dance! and you know i love me some movies about dancing!

2. urban cowboy. again, one that most of you probably haven't seen. it's got john travolta and he's a real cowboy. well, if real cowboys ride mechanical bulls in bars. but still, love this movie.

are you ready for my number 1 pick...............

i've got a tie


1. dirty dancing. with great lines like "nobody puts baby in the corner." how could you not love this movie. and you have to admit patrick swayze was hot in this movie. and who doesn't fantasize about going on a boring family vacation and hooking up with an older, bad boy? well, i did. and i know. i'm a dork.

1. st. elmo's fire. it has the whole "brat pack" in it! and rob lowe was hot..but has gotten even hotter with age. yummy!! and love demi moore. so what if she was a messed up coke-head~we've all got friends like that, right?

hope this totally useless information was helpful! by the way, i own movies #9, 4, 3, 2 and both #1's if anyone is interested in borrowing them. while browsing my extensive movie selection i noticed a few more that didn't make the list, though they are fine pieces of cinematic history....valley girl and fast times at ridgemont high. both hilarious! and both feature academy award winning actors. nicholas cage and sean penn, respectively. all are up for rent, no late fees. peace out my friends!

love my t.v.

ok, those who know me well know that i love my t.v. i watch a lot of t.v. and now with the wonderful invention of dvr, i can record anything and watch it when i want. so i have a lot of shows that i watch. usually summertime is pretty slow but i'm finding all kinds of stuff to satisfy my t.v. fix. cory and i just watched "wife swap" last night! had to be one of the funniest ones yet. if you haven't checked it out, you need to. i tell cory all the time that i want us to go on it. i don't care what kind of family i get stuck with, it would be worth if cory got stuck with some crazy woman who like didn't ever take a bath or something. and there are some crazy people like that on the show. last night, one family used their own urine to water their garden! yes, they poured pee on it! gross! i'd love to see a woman try and convince my husband to eat that! we also watched "big love" last night and if you have read my previous blog, you know how i feel about that one! love it. another guilty pleasure is "dog the bounty hunter." can't get enough. his wife, beth, has got the biggest boobs i've ever seen. seriously, she makes pam anderson look like she needs a training bra! but i love the show. i tried to convince cory that we should have a bail bonds business and track down criminals. he told me (for the millionth time) that his dad had a bail bonds business and he could do it. when i added that i could join him, he laughed. pretty hard, too. i'm not sure, but i think i'm offended. there is also a show on oxygen called "snapped." omg~it's a 30 minute show all about diffeent women who have lost it and killed their husband/boyfriend. i love it!!! i mean, i don't love that people are dead but it's just interesting how these women seem so normal and just everyday frustrations build up and they lose it! little things like, not picking up their crap, taking a nap on the couch while their child is playing in the laundry detergent, laughing at their wife when she suggests she could be an awesome crime fighter...........ok, maybe i don't need to watch that one anymore.