real housewives of....what the HELL is that??

i love all the "real housewives" franchises...some more than others but they are all must see t.v for me. so when the new batch of "housewives" from miami were introduced this week, of course, i was glued to the t.v. from the beginning it was a lot of the same things we've seen before...people with lots of money, talking about how much money they have and obnoxious womens with fake boobs talking about how much they work out to stay looking so good. yada, yada, yada... then, all of a sudden, i almost shot wine through my nose when i saw THIS:


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what. the. holy. hell. is. that??????? is that a woman? is that a cat? is it a cat-woman?? i've never seen anything so strange/ridiculous/scary in my life!! who was her plastic surgeon?? edward scissorhands? freddy krueger? and did he work in the dark? and blind-folded?? and on CRACK??? that was enough to give me nightmares, ya'll.

and like all the other "housewives"...how are these women housewives?? let me tell you about housewives. me and three other housewives just took 8~yes, 8~kids to eat at denny's at five o'clock today because kids eat free on thursdays. they could not wait for us to get out of there. i'm pretty sure that "kids eat free thursdays" will be a thing of the past after today.

THAT is what REAL housewives do.

well, THAT, and drink lots of wine...while watching "real housewives."