helloooooo....

wow! i can't believe i haven't blogged in over a month. this summer is flying by and sometimes i don't know where the time goes. oh. that's right. i've got kids. things at the brewer house are good...not much is going on. oh. i believe that mackenzie is a tween trapped in a toddler's body. she is totally into all that is disney...and i'm not talking mickey mouse, handy manny or pooh. uh, no. i'm talking high school musical, hannah montana, jonas brothers, zach and cody. she sneaks into the bathroom and puts eye shadow on...and it actually doesn't look half bad. she puts it in the right place. she walks around saying "sweet niblets!" which if you've seen hannah montana, you know what i'm talking about. she told me yesterday that harry potter was her boyfriend. alrighty.

let's move on to more important issues. you know. like, jon and kate.

now, i'll admit, at first, i totally sided with jon. kate seemed like real bitch and treated him like shit. but after seeing him with those earrings and looking like ed hardy vomited all over him, he looks absolutely ridiculous. i truly believe he is having an early mid-life crisis. sure, she's bitchy. but she's got 8 freakin' kids. i'm bitchy, and i've only got half that...and two of those are pretty much on their own. i can't imagine how bitchy i'd be with 8 all under the age of 10! CORY~YOUR COMMENTARY ON JUST HOW BITCHY I AM IS NOT NEEDED. THANK YOU.) the woman shot 8 kids out of her vagina. she deserves to be bitchy. and i also believe that she deserves to drink no matter the time of day. without judgement. i have a firm policy that drinking in the AM is completely acceptable as long as it involves juice of some sort...screwdrivers, ok. bloody marys, ok. mimosas, ok. got it? good. let's move on.

kate is also getting a lot of shit for wanting to continue the show. she has 8 kids to support. those 8 kids will probably want to go to college someday. what is she supposed to do to support them? i'm sorry, but even the best stripper can't support 8 kids. give her a break. i've been a single mom with one kid to feed and it ain't easy. and jon doesn't seem to have a fire under his ass to work. her heart seems to be in the right place. and he wants to move to new york??? what a douchebag. and she's getting a lot of flack for spanking her kids...are you kidding me?? thank god cameras don't follow me around all day...that's all i'm sayin'.

micheal and farrah...what a sad day. it's crazy that we are at the age where people that we idolized in our childhood are now dying. it started with john ritter. i was so sad when he died. i loved watching three's company. and i was determined to be a "charlie's angel." and don't even get me started on MJ. i was going to marry micheal jackson. i remember when he came to town for his "thriller" concert and my mom wanted to take me and my brother so badly. she couldn't get tickets but she bought me a white nightgown that said "thriller" in purple glitter. i loved it. my brother and i would camp out in front of the t.v. all day waiting for the "thriller" video to come on. we named our first dog "jackson." so sad.

here are some recent pics of the kiddos. have a great weekend!

happy 1/2 birthday, layton!

our little layton is 6 months old today! he weighs 17 lbs. and is 27 in. long. he is such a happy, happy baby!!

prom

well, my sweet, innocent baby boy is at the prom...with a COUGAR. okay..she's just a junior....but still.

mackenzie thought all the girls were princesses...and the top picture is her right after she realized that bubba left with all the other princesses and left his little princess behind.

can't deny this relation...

the above picture is of layton now~between 5-6 months~and the bottom is of mackenzie at the same age. they look like the same baby!!

but...did she give it to the dog???

i realize this is a serious situation...but i couldn't resist posting this. i thought this was something new but obviously not.

wash your hands, people! and don't be kissing no pigs.

um...i don't think so, scooter...

so it was just a normal weekend in the brewer house...parents were in town, ashlen and blake were out and about, little ones were sleeping. before i was about to turn in for the night, cory tells me that blake called and asked if he could spend the night....at a girl's house. uh, come again?? knowing cory, i figured he was only joking, trying to get a rise out of me. he insisted he was telling the truth...blake called and asked if he could spend the night at this girl's house....and her parent's were not home. he said he told him no and to come home. i went to bed still not believing him.

so the next morning, i wake up and my dad tells me that cory told him the same thing last night. oh. shit. maybe he was telling the truth. so about that time blake comes down the stairs and i ask him if he asked to spend the night with a girl last night. he simply nodded yes. HE. JUST. SHOOK, HIS. HEAD. YES. as if i had just asked him if he wanted some freakin' breakfast. but not only did he say yes, he said that he asked the RIGHT person the question. huh??

i was speechless...which is no small feat for me. i didn't say a word...just kind of stared at him thinking, "are you a complete dumbass??" now what boggles my mind is not that he wanted to stay the night at a girl's house whose parents were out of town. i mean, duh. but the fact that he actually called and asked for permission. who does that??? did he really think he'd get a yes??
like cory would say, "absolutely, son...way to go! and don't forget to wear a condom." the scary thing is...i can SO cory saying that. and that scares the shit out of me.

so the whole thing got me thinking. obviously blake did not get the handbook on teenage pre-marital sex. there are certain guidelines one must follow. and here are a few:

first off...your parents may provide protection but are not going to provide the place. you gotta get creative...like the rest of us did. you know, back of the car, and...well...the back of a car. there's no shame in it...i firmly believe that many wonderful, functioning human beings are conceived in the back seats of cars everyday.

second...do not give your mother...your sweet, loving mother who gave you life and still likes to think of you as her little baby boy..a heads-up that you are going to be doing the "wild thang" do you really expect me to be able to sleep knowing that you are "pounding it out" (as my husband so eloquently puts it) just a few blocks away.

and last, but certainly NOT least..I DO NOT WANT TO BE A GRANDMOTHER. OR A NANA. OR A MIMI. I DON'T CARE WHAT CUTESY NAME YOU COME UP WITH..I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE. my own mother reminds me how young she was when i made her a grandma. and if you think we get funny looks now when we are out with layon and/or mac, imagine the looks if we had another one calling you, daddy?? ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM!!!! HELL, WEAR THREE.

so this is my life now...

cory made the comment the other night that i drink EVERY NIGHT.

well, no shit.

do you blame me?

(the title of this blog is actually a line from a "ron white" routine....but my dad used to call blake scooter when he was little...)

mac's first catch...

mackenzie and cory went fishing on friday and she caught her first fish....actually, she caught two.