burps, farts, and making mums

i'm sure many of you have been wondering where i've been...maybe i had the baby and have been soooo busy i haven't had time to blog. no. such. luck. i am still pregnant and it feels like i've been pregnant for 15 months. my belly is HUGE. i'm scheduled to be induced two weeks from today. and that is not a moment too soon...i'm slowly but surely losing my dignity with this pregnancy. i find myself belching, like a MAN, all the time...my fifteen year old son heard me the other day, looked at me with this look of total horror on his face. he didn't have to say anything...i could tell what he was thinking...i can't believe that just came out of my mother. i've even had the "walking" farts a few times...don't you try and act like you don't know what i'm talking about! you know what they are....i sound like a motor boat...it's ridiculous.

in other news, blake had his first homecoming dance this year...he looked so handsome. and i'm no fifteen year old boy, but his girlfriend is pretty hot. i wanted to give him a high-five and say "score!" but i thought that was a bit much from his MOM.  i did encounter some stress during homecoming week. blake is usually on the sidelines on friday nights for the varsity game, so i assumed the homecoming game would be no different. he informed me on wednesday evening that he would NOT be on the sidelines and that him and logan (girlfriend) would be going to the game. ok. whatever. about that time, she shows up with his little mum thingy that goes on his arm. she also made mackenzie a little mum which i thought was very sweet. so, great. yea, homecoming...and then it hit me...oh. shit. she's going to need a mum. my brain went into overdrive. i don't know where to get a mum. i don't know how to make a mum. but how hard can it be, right? cory said, "why don't you get on the phone first thing tomorrow and find someone to make her a mum." 

me: "i wouldn't know where to start, plus it's probably a little late. i can make one. how hard can it be? other mom's do it...so can i."

cory said nothing but instead gave me a look like, you've got to be kidding. you SO can't make a mum. you do not have a crafty bone in your body. but i have to disagree. i'm no marthat stewart but i did make a diaper cake for a friend's shower a few months back that i thought turned out great. for those who saw it and don't agree...keep it to yourself. i'd like to hang on to my delusional thinking.

so the next day, with my assistant in tow, aka mackenzie, we headed to hobby lobby for all the mum-making supplies. they had it all in one area. perfect. so i start gathering ribbons, stickers, and any other accessories i thought didn't look too cheesy...and so did mackenzie. note to self: never take a toddler in a section of any store full of shiny, long, beads....they are like moths to a flame. anyhoo, i got what i needed, including a hot glue gun. see, that's how uncrafty i am...i didn't even own a hot glue gun. do now! so $100 later, we head home with all our supplies..all the while praying that i know what the hell i'm doing.

i put the mum together that afternoon and i have to say, i was impressed. for a first time effort, i thought it looked pretty damn good. i was excited for blake to see it. i don't know why. fifteen year old boys don't get excited about much...except for sports and porn. but all i wanted to hear from him was that he wasn't embarrased to give it to her. he said he wasn't. we were good to go.

fast forward to friday night when logan and friend get dropped off at our house before the game. they come in and i notice logan has something hanging from her rather large purse. what? is that? no, it couldn't be! surely, my pregnant eyes are deceiving me. IS THAT A MUM??? DID SHE BRING HER OWN MUM???????? really? this is happening right now? i stressed over making her a mum just to find out that the NEW thing is the girls make their OWN MUM!!!!  i guess blake felt bad for me so he pulled her to the side and explained that i had made her one so she took them both. i didn't want anything said to her because i did not want to embarrass her. 

but, know atleast i know if i need to pull a mum out of my ass, i can do it. yea, me.

the pictures above were taking before the dance...don't you love the one of blake and mac??? she is his #1 girl for sure!!

happy friday!!