these definately aren't your mom's cartoons....

with two little ones in the house, we watch a lot of kid's shows. our t.v. goes back and forth between nickelodeon, noggin and the disney channel ALL day long. and one thing i've noticed is that cartoons are definately not what they used to be. anyone remember the smurfs? i LOVED me some smurfs on saturday morning. it never occured to me to find it strange that there was all those male smurfs and just one smurfette. or how come gargimel was always torturing the poor smurfs relentlessly despite the fact that there was only of him and a million and one smurfs. and why were they blue?? anyhoo, back to the cartoons of today. after watching so many of these, i've drawn my own conclusions about some things...consider this a kind of "true hollywood story" on the world of kid's televesion entertainment.

dora the explorer~now, this chic has it figured out...she has learned that all a gal needs is to surround herself with a great group of friends, a token "gay"~you did know that tico, the squirrel is gay, right?? no straight man, i mean, squirrel, could pull off that vest...come on~and a stylish, functional bag can get you through anything life throws at you. her bff, boots, well, the jury is still out on his sexual preference...after all, he does wear red ugg boots...i'm just sayin'

max and ruby~i truly don't understand the appeal of this one. but mackenzie absolutely flips her shit when it's on and i hear that a lot of her friends are the same way. first off, where are these kids parents??? seriously? they live all alone? and what's up with the grandma who pops in every now and then, i guess to make sure they are still alive? is it just me, or does she seem drunk most of the time?? and ruby is such a little beotch...she never lets max speak and never lets him play with his own shit...her and louise are always trying to make him play dress-up or pretend he's a baby. i'm waiting for max to grow a pair and tell his bossy sister to back the f' off. now that's an episode i don't want to miss.

yo gabba gabba~three letters pretty much sums this one up: LSD...whoever came up with that one has taken a lot of it.

sesame street~this one has been around for a LONG time and i've heard a lot of theories out there about how the characters are developed to teach the children about diversity. for example, i've heard that oscar, the grouch, is a homeless person. well, duh. he lives in a trashcan, people. burt and ernie? totally a gay couple. not that there's anything wrong with that. the count? totally a major case of OCD. all that counting and the numbers!! it's madness! cookie monster? obviously suffering from an eating disorder. big bird? schizophrenic...NO one else can see snuffy??? totally makes sense, doesn't it??

spongebob squarepants~this is a fave in our house right now. mac wants to watch it all the time. i have to say, i don't get this one. i mean, WHAT is he exactly? and is it just me or does squidward look and act like a major drunk?

we've come a long way since bugs bunny...