Saturday, April 4, 2009

please donate to the "i'm a mother of four who needs lots of money for wine" cause...

so, i've noticed a growing trend...instead of just homeless people standing on the street corner begging for money, there are people, asking for money to support certain causes....people addicted to drugs, battered women, even little league teams. i mean, how are we supposed to know that is where the money is REALLY going??? just because they tell us that? so i figured, if all it takes is a good cause and a bucket, hey, i can do that. in fact, i've got several "causes" near and dear to my heart that i could raise money to support....and here are a few:

my three year old who is supposedly potty trained, decides every now and then to shit her pants...just to keep it interesting. please donate to help keep my pinot grigio adequately stocked.

my teenage son is on a mission to lose his virginity...please donate to help him buy condoms. and me, more wine.

i have to go through the teenage years two more times in my life...please donate to the desparately trying to keep my sanity fund. zoloft ain't free, people. oh, and wine...i need something to wash it down with.

i have a harmless obsession with handbags..and shoes. please donate money to help me get the gucci bag i've had my eye on..neiman's won't let me trade one of the kids...i've asked.

my husband will not stop clipping his toenails into the bathtub. please donate money...scratch that...just donate wine. it helps take the edge off...and keeps me from killing him.

so these are just a few i came up with...what would your "cause" be??

1 comment:

HMitch said...

HAaHa! Once again you have me rolling on the floor laughing. God help me when my kids are teenagers. I hate to think of them having sex! Wish I could donate to your wine cause, but I have my own wine addiction to donate to.